I'll be home soon

It's the last day of July, and in less than 24 hours I'll be taking off from Frankfurt and heading back to Toronto. I'm quite sad to be leaving this beautiful experience behind, but at the same time, quite ready to come back. Being in limbo for the past month here in Crete - living out of suitcases, not being able to cook food at home, and not being able to settle into a place as it's just a hotel room has been quite taxing, thus the desire to come back to a "home" and settle in somewhere. At the same time, these past months have been so different from any kind of life I've experienced before. Having gained so much new knowledge - with robotics, with computer vision, with Germans, with Greeks, with adapting, with being a foreigner with many things; having experienced so many new things, events, flavours, sights and sounds; and sharing it all with someone so dear to me, has been an experience I will cherish forever.

Tallying up the results from the poll, it seems that "Things Learned" came in at number one - and so it shall be. For the next little while I shall write about all the things I've learned in my last 5 months abroad. I hope I don't bore you too much, as I'll be discussing machine learning, mobile robotics, computer vision, ROS, OpenCV, C++ and many, many more nerdy things that I've learned... you asked for it. :-P

explodingdog.com

x<3x

This morning, is a really special one for me. In fact, I can hardly contain myself from excitement as I watch my countdown app tick down from months, to mere hours. What am I counting down to? I'm counting down to a visit from a very special girl, who will be staying with me here for the remainder of my trip. She has been a big part of my experience here already, and will become an even bigger one when she arrives tomorrow morning, so I feel a blog entry is appropriate to share this joy.

When I first arrived here, It was still quite cold. In fact, even now with temperatures reaching as high as 20ºC, it's still extremely cold at home. They're renovating the building, and stripped off all the insulation from the outside. It's freezing at night, and even during the day sitting at my desk, it can still get quite chilly. The first week I was here, I was saying how cold I am, to which she said she wished to warm me up with a hug, but that it would have to wait a few months. The next week I received a package in the mail from an unknown sender. I was extremely confused coming home with it as the whole way I was trying to figure out what it is and who had sent it. When I got home and began unpacking it, I found a shipping slip from Amazon.de, so I knew it was an online order. When I finally opened it up, I found a fleece blanket inside. I absolutely melted as I knew exactly who had sent it. It has been keeping me warm every night since, and thus has made my experience here that much more pleasant and warmer. Every time I wrap myself in the blanket, I can feel the love and care envelop me, and a big smile spreads across my face.

Last month I received another package in the mail - also from my sweetheart. This time, however, it had her return address on it, so I knew right away whom it was from, and was dying with anticipation to get home to open it. As I slowly cut the top off the envelope and opened it, the smell of her sweet perfume filled my room, and my knees buckled. I removed the delicately wrapped gift and lost myself in the moment for a while. Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. Granted, I've never been away from my friends and family like this, but I know receiving this attention and care while being so far away has been keeping me somewhat sane. There have been quite a number of times when I felt extremely lonely and isolated, so having this warmth and attention from someone so far away brought us that much closer and helped me feel not so far away.

The gift this time was a scarf. But not in the traditional sense of a scarf, but in a really cool, fashionable sense - not so much for practical warmth, more for a sexy look... which I think I pull off quite well.

Alright, cockiness aside, I just think the scarf looks cool. It has a cross section of a black shell on it - so it's decorative like a necklace (and I do like necklaces), it's reversible - black and silver, and my girl likes it. And that makes me happy.

And now, in a few short hours, she will wake up and go to the airport, where a plane will whisk her away to Frankfurt and close the distance of 6300km to a mere 131km. By tomorrow morning 8am she will be on a train to Bonn to close that final distance to zero, when I can finally wrap my arms around her as she steps off that train and give her all my love and she has been giving me hers.

I Love You, Christina. Can't wait to see you. ^_______^

It was a Netherlands flag actually.

FML

Melophelia

Please click 'play' on the video, and then continue reading...

So... the past few days have been a little cold, a little grey, and a little dreary, which has been slowly bringing me down off of my high and into a slight state of melancholy. I've just been feeling a little flat - like a tire that just needs a bit of air.

Usually, when I start to feel this way I pick up my guitar and play Bach's 'Air on a String'. The lightness of the melody fills my soul with a fresh breath of much needed air, and I carry on. Or I call my friends and someone will go out with me, and we'll sit and talk and at the end of the night they will put their arms around me and warm me with their love.

Being here, I have no guitar... and I don't really have a friend who could give me a long, warm hug. I write in my blog and post pictures on Facebook just to feel connected to you guys, but the physical sensation that live music brings with the resonance of the strings, or the warmth of the human touch is lacking from my laptop.

Today I went to the Mensa (cafeteria) to have lunch. I sat by myself and looked out the window as I enjoyed a warm meal (this is a rare treat for me as I still don't have my kitchen fully set up). On my way out I heard a faint voice of a piano resonating through the walls. I knew right away it was a real piano as I could feel the vibration in my body, however faint.

I stopped.

It was coming from above. I slowly walked up the stairs and felt the music getting louder. I knew I was on the right track and my heart fluttered with excitement. I haven't heard a real piano in months, and the melody that was coming through the walls sent shivers through my whole body. On the top floor, there were two doors, and one was labeled "Musikzimmer"... I knew I found my haven.

I gently cracked open there door, and a wave of music washed over me. A student sitting behind the piano stopped playing and looked at me with surprise. I apologized for interrupting and told him that I heard beautiful music coming from the room, and I just had to experience it. I asked him if it was okay for me to be there and to just stand quietly and listen. He seemed taken aback by my desire to listen to him practice, and was very bashful about his performance. I told him I love music and just want to be in the room with the vibration - just for a little bit. He said it was no problem and continued playing.

I recorded a small segment of his performance, which you are hearing right now.

As I looked out the window at the grey clouds, his melody brought me to tears, and I was overjoyed to have been at the right place at the right time.

On my way out I thanked him profusely for letting me stay for a bit and told him his music moved me beyond words. I told him that I had just come from Canada last week and have been feeling a bit down the past few days, but that his music lifted my soul and brought me right back home. He appreciated my compliments and said that the only music he knows from Canada is Celine Dion and Bryan Adams. I laughed and explained that his music didn't take me back home to Canada, but rather brought my soul to a place of peace and comfort. The warm vibrations of the strings wrapped around me like the arms of all my friends and family, and I was consoled by the melody his soul was singing.

He was extremely humbled by my words and thanked me for the compliments. He told me that the piano room is available for anyone to practice, so I now know where I'll be going when I feel down.

Coming back home to my cold room I lit a candle that was given to me by a good friend before I left. I had been saving it for a time when I really needed its warmth to comfort me. The sweet scent of mulled wine fills my room and the warmth of its glow fills my heart with love, and again - I'm home. ^__^

And so it begins...

Lao Tzu said that "the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." For me, that step was the moment I crossed the security check in Toronto, turned around to see my mom blowing me kisses, waved back, and realized - from this moment on - I'm on my own.

As I walked to the gate, a new feeling started to come over me. I have never travelled by myself, and never on such a mission as now. Whenever I travelled before, it was always with someone, and always for a vacation. It's quite a different feeling going away somewhere with the knowledge that soon enough you'll be back. You've packed your clothes, your toothbrush, and your travel journal. If you forgot anything - it's no big deal - you're only gone for a few weeks. Walking down to that gate, I knew I won't be back that soon. I've packed my life for the next half a year into a tiny suitcase, forgetting something of course, and I was no longer traveling as a tourist - I was moving to a new place to live there - to learn the language, the culture, and most importantly - how to be a global citizen. Going away and coming back is easy; going away to find a new place to call home is a whole different vibe.

I remember when I first moved to Canada from Russia, I was 12 at the time, and had already established a sense of home back in St. Petersburg. For the first few years in Canada, I still considered myself an outsider (with the help of my peers of course), and always thought of Russia as my home. Slowly I learned the customs, the language, the slang, the culture, and began to blend in. I opened up, I made friends, I found love, and I began to feel comfortable. Yet still, the established sense of home back in Russia was somehow carved into my mind. I remember one day wishing I could go back, and a strange feeling came over me. I realized that day that if I were to go back - I would now be an outsider in Russia too. I would speak with an accent, I would shrug at unfamiliar slang, and I would have no friends. It was a sad day for me, as I realized I had no home anywhere. But it takes great despair to learn great wisdom, and that day I learned a very valuable lesson. It is not where you are born, or what language you speak, or what customs you know, or where your friends are that marks your home - no. As an old proverb says "home is where you hang your hat." And for that reason I packed a hat with me, just so I could hang it when I got to my dorm.

And so, here I am - in my new home. And the warmth of the spring sun on my face reminds me that this is only the beginning - the first steps on my journey. Yet I've already met and chatted with several people in my building (auf Deutsch), I've already explored Bonn on my own (and didn't get lost (and didn't use a map or gps)), I've already went shopping and bought a few things without needing to communicate in English. This morning I even had lunch on a terrace and was able to get by with my limited knowledge of German.

Coming home to my dorm, a comfortable feeling brings a smile to my face. I don't need familiarity, or safety, or the knowledge of the language or the culture to call this place home - I'm making this my home. I've set up my computer; I've put some books on the shelves; I bought some fruit, yogurt, bread and beer at the grocery store just to have something in the fridge; I'm exploring, I'm meeting people, I'm living my life.

Of course I miss my friends, but not because I'm lonely, but because I wish all of you were here to experience this too. It's a refreshing change to have to adapt to a new environment, and I think sometimes we forget that no matter where we are, we are always adapting and learning. No matter where your home is, you're always growing - and so does your home.

I feel like I'm living my life no differently than in Canada - I leave my house and walk somewhere. I buy lunch and sit on a patio enjoying the sun. I smile at the dog chewing on a plastic beer bottle, or the kid playing with the soccer ball, or the city workers taking a smoke break on the patio. I take a walk through a busy commercial neighbourhood and look at the storefronts. I smell freshly baked bread (as there's a bakery on every corner here) and buy a Rosinenbrot for 50c. I walk home taking a new path every time, yet never getting lost - I'm already familiar with the landmarks and directions, yet I've only been here a few days. I feel at home already, even though I know very little about this place.

No matter where you are, there's always something new to explore - a street you've never walked down, a shop you never bothered visiting, a drink or a treat you never tried from the local grocery store - don't forget that. Because as much as I feel at home here already, I also feel like I'm constantly exploring and learning new things, and I've done this in Canada too. Every day holds a new adventure if you allow for it. I know I'm guilty of not always doing this myself, because it's easy to get carried away in the errands we have to run, or the work we have to do. The past two days have been nothing but errands for me, and today has just been a day where I could sleep in, and go out and explore and just live. And it made me realize how important it is to take the time to live your life. Otherwise it will pass you by like a carnival full of costumed, drunk Germans, while you're on a train to University......... think about it.