Auf Wiedersehen

Wow. Last time I blogged here was over two months ago, and yet it feels like just yesterday I was waiting in anticipation for Tina's arrival.

Since then school got progressively busier and busier - assignments got harder and harder - and free time seemed to have disappeared completely. Any opportunity we had for a free evening was spent exploring, going out for dinners or catching up on homework. Every weekend was spent travelling and experiencing Europe to the fullest extent possible. So much so, that I have spent many hours stressing out about not having enough time to do the one thing I came here to do - study; but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to explore and travel and experience Europe, especially with Christina by my side.

So, let me reflect on what has happened since my last post. So many experiences were crammed in the last two months, it's hard to imagine it all really happened. First weekend after Tina's arrival we visited Köln, and checked out an underground anarchist party at Odonien. The next weekend we went to Berlin to check out the history, the fashion and the club scene. The weekend after that we went to München and Schwangau to check out the Hohenschwangau and Neuschwanstein castles. The week after that Tina was at a conference in London, so I caught up with her on the weekend and we checked out London's history, architecture, food, fashion and the DnB scene. The last weekend in June we went to a massive three-day rock concert called Rock am Ring at the Nürburgring. And the weekend after that, we squeezed in one more trip to a castle in Colmberg, where we stayed for a night, to get a first-hand experience of living in a German castle.

Meanwhile, school was getting busier and busier. I was trying to squeeze in homework whenever I could - in the mornings, in the evenings... on a plane, or on a train... in the sun, or in the rain... it was always such a pain. On top of everything, once July rolled around, I started another summer school course in Data Mining, which rendered my free time completely nonexistent. Summer school ran every day from 9am to 6pm, which left me completely burnt out and exhausted. My courses in Learning and Adaptivity and Mobile Robots were wrapping up, and exams were just around the corner. Between studying for exams, I was working on a project for the summer school course, which turned out to be quite fun (for anyone curious, I can give more insight, but basically we used some algorithms to determine the reading ease of tweets and charted them across time). Also, at least once a week during July there were summer events happening at the school, which was pretty much the only thing that kept us sane and entertained.

Last week in Bonn was exhausting. I had a presentation for the summer school project on Tuesday, an oral exam on Wednesday (which I've never done before), a written one on Thursday, and we were leaving Friday morning. Between all that I had to take care of running around to wrap up all the paperwork in Bonn - closing accounts, registrations and wrapping up with the dorm. It was all happening so fast, I hardly had a second to sit down and process what was going on. On Thursday we went out with our friends from Bonn as a farewell thing and got pretty drunk, so leaving on Friday morning was a bit difficult.

Once all our stuff was packed up, all my things taken down from the walls, all the furniture rearranged back into it's original configuration, it hit me - I'm leaving Bonn. I haven't really had any time to process what was going on, so when it happened, it hit me really hard - I'm gonna miss it... A LOT! I left the keys in the room, and as I shut the door behind me for the last time, I felt tears in my eyes. I had an amazing time in Germany - an experience like no other - and having to close that chapter of my life so soon after it began was incredibly sad. Although, come to think of it, I would have been sadder if I had stayed longer, because I grew attached. I fell in love with a different world - a different life - a different... everything, and having to say 'good bye' to it all was very difficult. Traveling around as a tourist, you come and go from places, and even though you love them, you're never really attached in any sort of way. But having spent four months there - having made a home and friends, having shared experiences, having learned and experienced so much... it was painful having to disassemble it all, pack it all up, and leave. I'm generally a social person, but it still takes me some time to find people I really gel with, and having found a group of really cool guys and gals, having broken the barrier (for the second time in my life) of being a foreigner, and made friends with some really amazing people, was making it that much harder to leave Bonn. Deep down inside I know I'll be back, as there is still so much to see in Germany - in Berlin, and Bavaria, and many other places that we didn't get to, but having built something for myself in this new, unfamiliar place, and having to pack it all up was a very new experience for me - and a very sad one.

Even the weekend of our leaving Bonn was an exceptionally busy one. On Friday we took a train to Frankfurt and flew into Amsterdam. Arriving in the early evening, we literally just had enough time to walk around downtown for a bit, and enjoy a meal and some dessert. On Saturday we were going to a party I've been looking forward to checking out for ages - Sensation White. Since the party started in the evening, we had a bit of time during the day to once again check out downtown, and even meet up with an old friend from Canada. Seeing a familiar face in a totally unfamiliar land was a refreshing change, and a very welcome one. We had a few drinks together, and afterwards headed off to our respective parties. Sensation was unbelievable, but came to an end much too soon, as at 6am we had to book out of the party, and back to the hotel to grab our things and be at the airport for 7. Then - Amsterdam to Frankfurt, and a few hours later Frankfurt to Heraklion, Creete, where we are now.

And so I'm setting up homebase here for the next month while taking a course in Computer Vision at the Foundation for Research & Technology - Hellas (FORTH). It's a totally different vibe here than in Bonn. Everything is much more relaxed, much more laid back, and obviously, the weather here is non-stop sun. Every day after school we go to the beach for a swim, and to just bum around on the beach. Every evening we indulge in a 3-hour dinner (as I said, everything here is veeery laid back… sometimes to a fault), and during the day, when it's way too hot to be outside, while everyone on the island has a siesta, I do some research and coding in OpenCV. That's the new thing I'm learning here in the realm of Computer Vision. So far, I've learned how to read images, check histograms, and compare them with each other, which allowed me to parse out a picture of us from Sensation into little blocks, compare the histograms of those little blocks to every single picture we took at the party, to find one that matches best, and build a picture out of those smaller images. It's not much, but it's research!!

Click for a better view

Melophelia

Please click 'play' on the video, and then continue reading...

So... the past few days have been a little cold, a little grey, and a little dreary, which has been slowly bringing me down off of my high and into a slight state of melancholy. I've just been feeling a little flat - like a tire that just needs a bit of air.

Usually, when I start to feel this way I pick up my guitar and play Bach's 'Air on a String'. The lightness of the melody fills my soul with a fresh breath of much needed air, and I carry on. Or I call my friends and someone will go out with me, and we'll sit and talk and at the end of the night they will put their arms around me and warm me with their love.

Being here, I have no guitar... and I don't really have a friend who could give me a long, warm hug. I write in my blog and post pictures on Facebook just to feel connected to you guys, but the physical sensation that live music brings with the resonance of the strings, or the warmth of the human touch is lacking from my laptop.

Today I went to the Mensa (cafeteria) to have lunch. I sat by myself and looked out the window as I enjoyed a warm meal (this is a rare treat for me as I still don't have my kitchen fully set up). On my way out I heard a faint voice of a piano resonating through the walls. I knew right away it was a real piano as I could feel the vibration in my body, however faint.

I stopped.

It was coming from above. I slowly walked up the stairs and felt the music getting louder. I knew I was on the right track and my heart fluttered with excitement. I haven't heard a real piano in months, and the melody that was coming through the walls sent shivers through my whole body. On the top floor, there were two doors, and one was labeled "Musikzimmer"... I knew I found my haven.

I gently cracked open there door, and a wave of music washed over me. A student sitting behind the piano stopped playing and looked at me with surprise. I apologized for interrupting and told him that I heard beautiful music coming from the room, and I just had to experience it. I asked him if it was okay for me to be there and to just stand quietly and listen. He seemed taken aback by my desire to listen to him practice, and was very bashful about his performance. I told him I love music and just want to be in the room with the vibration - just for a little bit. He said it was no problem and continued playing.

I recorded a small segment of his performance, which you are hearing right now.

As I looked out the window at the grey clouds, his melody brought me to tears, and I was overjoyed to have been at the right place at the right time.

On my way out I thanked him profusely for letting me stay for a bit and told him his music moved me beyond words. I told him that I had just come from Canada last week and have been feeling a bit down the past few days, but that his music lifted my soul and brought me right back home. He appreciated my compliments and said that the only music he knows from Canada is Celine Dion and Bryan Adams. I laughed and explained that his music didn't take me back home to Canada, but rather brought my soul to a place of peace and comfort. The warm vibrations of the strings wrapped around me like the arms of all my friends and family, and I was consoled by the melody his soul was singing.

He was extremely humbled by my words and thanked me for the compliments. He told me that the piano room is available for anyone to practice, so I now know where I'll be going when I feel down.

Coming back home to my cold room I lit a candle that was given to me by a good friend before I left. I had been saving it for a time when I really needed its warmth to comfort me. The sweet scent of mulled wine fills my room and the warmth of its glow fills my heart with love, and again - I'm home. ^__^

It's sinking in

I had the most amazing weekend!!

On Friday my friends came out to party with me, see me off, and wish me a safe and enriching trip - and so it will be. On Saturday I had the weekly jam with my band - and as always the music surrounded me with warmth and joy. On Sunday I had a wonderful family dinner - it made me remember how much my family has grown, and how amazing it is.

It was really great to see everyone, and I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making this weekend a memorable one. It is quite a change of atmosphere being surrounded by friends and family for three days, just to come back to an empty apartment with an unpacked suitcase, and 42 hours 'till takeoff.

I will miss my music. The jams have been an integral part of my life for many weeks and I'm not sure how I will cope without them. I feel like my favourite vinyl had just been broken, and suddenly the silence in my apartment seems louder than anything we've played here.

I had a dream last night that I was in a foreign place, but my friends were there with me. We were about to leave and head back home when I got stopped by the police. Under the laws of this place, apparently I had done something very wrong, for which I was to be detained for six months. When I heard this, I freaked out and took off. I started running without knowing where to run or what to do - I just wanted to get away. I was in a crowded mall running for my life, pushing by people, trying to use whatever parkour I had learned from watching YouTube videos to evade and lose the cops. I figured if I could lose them in the mall and meet up with my crew, we could all go back home, but as I ran up another flight of stairs, the cops were waiting right at the top, not even fretting about catching me. One of them yelled out mockingly, "Keep running!..", as though there was no way I could ever lose them. I took a sharp turn, weaved by some people, and bolted down an escalator. As the escalator descended, I saw myself waiting at the bottom. The fact that there was a second me didn't surprise me at all, however, my behaviour at that moment did. As I cleared the escalator and continued running, the me that was waiting at the bottom ran towards me, and without saying a word tackled me. As we both fell to the ground I realized there was no way I could get away from the cops - I had me. As I lay on the ground I turned to myself and began to cry, "Why? You're my only friend...", I implored. But there was no response. I began to bawl, and as I opened my mouth to cry out, a sad chord change echoed through the now silent mall. I wish I knew music well enough to be able to transcribe it... alas, my cry will stay silent for now.

Let the dream be open for interpretation, but I know deep down inside I am anxious about going, and I'm the only one who can tackle my anxiety down and make myself commit to my stay in that foreign, far-away land. As John Steinbeck said, "We find, after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.", and this thought has been resounding in my mind for the past several weeks. I feel like there's so much to prepare, so many things to think of, lists to make, and like I'm constantly forgetting something... Yet at the same time I know I can't prepare for everything. I don't even know what I'm in for, how can I possibly predict and prepare some sort of a gameplan?

I've been taking it step-by-step, and letting the trip take me as it will. With 42 hours to go and an unpacked suitcase, all I really want to do is have a cup of tea and write a blog post to all my wonderful friends - thanking them for making this last weekend in this cold city, so very warm. I am so lucky to have all of you as friends, and if you're wondering if there's a slight chance this refers to you - it most certainly does.